Can you explain why this man, supposed to hate women, actually wanted a relationship with them?

what you describe as a relationship is not the case in the traditional sense with men who behave like that. Very often the man has had abuse or trauma or even deglect at the hands of a woman and the pattern becomes one of punishment triggering violence as the man is incapable of recognising 'normal' behaviours. There are some men however who don't have that kind of background and behave in this way, can't answer that one!